When the Bloody A4 mouse showed up at the door, I was apprehensive. While I have been a fan of PC gaming for a long time (I remember loading up X-Wing on my 100 MB hard drive back when I was in high school from discs that would wiggle when you shook them), for one reason or another, I’d never had a gaming mouse. Before you elitist jerks judge me, though, I have to say that I get it now.

I get it.

The Bloody A4 comes packed with various bells and whistles that I’d never really heard of before. I spent some time poking around through the user guides and the Internet, trying to discern the grammatically incorrect and stilted parsing (my favorite is, “Bloody mouse – Shorten clicking delay period to 1ms to win the game at first! Normal gaming mouse click delay taking 18ms, cause fire too late.”). After a bit, I understood what was going on here: this is a mouse made for being an asshole in Counter-Strike.

I’ll explain that in a minute.

I have played some Counter-Strike, but not enough to say that I’ve played Counter-Strike, if that makes sense (and if you’ve played a lot, you know what I’m talking about). Most of the time, I quit playing because I didn’t know how the hell I was getting shot (and occasionally tea-bagged) so frequently. Part of the reason is the lack of time that I dedicated to intuiting all of the right places to be, but I also didn’t know where to expect snipers, and for the life of me, I could never really get the accuracy other people seemed to have. Of course, the first time I played CS, my mouse had a ball in it. You remember that shit?

A buddy of mine still plays CS, and he’s one of those guys that scares the bejeezus out of me. I’d been over at his place before while he was wrapping up a round, and while I marveled at the fact that he had more kills than deaths (like, a lot more), he started cussing up a storm because some guy was apparently cheating.

Holy shit this review is taking forever. Scroll down if you want to get into the nitty gritty quicker (I put some headings down the page a bit). I tend to ramble.

I know people cheat; hell, I’ve been known to put in a cheat code or two before, but I appreciate the level playing field of honest competition, so I’ve restricted my tweaking to single-player experiences only. About the closest thing to cheating that I’ve ever done in multiplayer is not holding back when playing my friends in Tekken.

That said, this mouse loudly proclaimed that it would help you get more kills because of its software-based assistance (multiple cores), giving auto recoil-suppression, trajectory adjustment, and auto-cycling shots with suppression. They have a lot of bold statements on their site, but all I could think of was how this could give someone an unfair advantage (not to mention really confusing when trying to do other things on the computer). And sometimes, an unfair advantage is what people want, right?

3 shooting modes

I popped in Torchlight II first, just because I really had started to hate my mouse when I played that game—mostly because of all the damned clicking. The first thing that had to go was my wrist-rest on my mouse pad. I do a fair amount of work on the computer, so it’s a pretty necessary thing, but when I was venturing into the dungeons with my Engineer (his name is EngineEar, by the way), I had to take it away and break out my old flat pad. The ergonomics of the mouse are really top notch. Partly because Runic Games has made such a solid little loot-grind, I was able to play for three hours straight (which I hadn’t done on the PC since Extra Life), and I never had to stop and massage my wrist. I don’t know if I just had a bunch of shitty mouses (I refuse to say mice, because that refers to multiple rodents) or what, but this thing felt good.

Response Time

After a good loot-grind, I had to check out some of my FPS games, so I went on to Left 4 Dead. I had picked it up a while ago during a Steam sale, but I hadn’t really played it that much; most of my L4D experience came from the Xbox.

One of the features touted by the people at A4 is the quick millisecond response time, and after downloading the mouse-click-response-time test, it generally beat my old mouse by a 4 or 5 ms each time. Whether or not it’s set up to always give similar results, I can’t say, but when I was clicking like a madman, running from the zombie hordes, it felt quick.

fast click

Borderlands 2

One of the games that I really kind of played around in with the mouse was Borderlands 2. As I was saying earlier, I don’t mind the occasional cheat code (as long as I’m offline so to speak), so I activated the Core 3 functionality and messed around on the streets and hills of Pandora. I might lose a few of you here, but BL2 has some pretty sweet guns, and they’re not all automatics. Some of the harder-hitting guns only fire as fast as you pull the trigger, and the recoil can be a little insane. I didn’t take the time to sit down and really tweak the settings for the mouse (mostly because if I actually get to sit down and game for a bit, I want to game), but out-of-the-box, it was like handling a rapid fire controller for the first time. You know, if the rapid fire also came with software-assisted recoil-suppression…

trajectory adjustment


I kept a semi-close eye on my PC’s resources while the mouse was helping me out, and it wasn’t that intensive. I didn’t notice any lag on the screen, and it was actually taking up the same amount of memory that an extra tab on Chrome uses (your results may differ; this was the case for me, though).

I have to say that this is my favorite gaming mouse, even though I have to hedge that a bit by saying that I’ve never had the joy of using a mouse designed for gaming. I like some of the little details on the mouse (the glowing and bloody hand definitely makes it a little *unique* to use at work, but I work with enough nerds that I got more compliments than condescending looks), and at the end of the day, the only complaint is that the 4th and 5th buttons could have been a tad bigger.

Oh yeah, and the grammar on the Bloody website… “Who Die First???” Really? And you have to put three question marks?

Who Die First

If you’re interested in the mouse, I’d head over to A4’s site instead of directly to Bloody’s, as it seems that they have fixed a lot of (but still not all) of the grammar mishaps. Of course, some people don’t care about grammar, so maybe I should shut up about it.

I’ve got a few minutes, so I’m going to head over to Pandora.

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